What happened to Io?
I will do what an author can do. Full stop.
I started to do exactly this. Let’s say. Full stop.
Idiotically I did nothing for a whole month. Comma, full stop, full stop, full stop.
The timeless age which has already been almost two weeks (asterisk: unedited original first note, which obviously the subsequents could have done without, for example I wasn’t ‘there’ for two weeks, but for a month. Date and places: May the 6th 2011, Helsinki, Kampii, the 14th day).
Only under the heading of ‘adventures’ but becoming slow torture (don’t feel like doing this: adventures). Why I’d set off, as many people have asked me, and why Helsinki exactly...no, mainly that. (Oh, how many people asked me this later on!) However, but really why? (Three words come to mind. Something like God guided me).
“If you’re not prepared to work then don’t eat.” I know it’s difficult for me ‘to work’ so that I can ‘eat’ in Helsinki. (And my impulsion to write, plus my other impulses).Therefore I sometimes bought food, though in fact I didn’t need to because, let me whisper something to you, there is a lot of food in the City. You can stuff yourself from the leftovers, as much as fits in your stomach, more in fact. I can spy a piece of chocolate on the pavement. “A difficult thing”.
I’m alone a lot, at first I was afraid. From time to time psychological palpitations overcame me. I am still afraid if I have nothing to depend on. New day, new places. I can’t allow myself to spend any money and I must earn some if possible. From now on I am going to write. Such a lot of thoughts ‘bubbled up’ in me. Write, write and write again, not just for myself (like a teenager), but for everyone! By now I had got so used to the City that I’d lost my inhibitions (had I any?) Finally I’m free like a fish out of water, gasping for my life, but I know it will always be this way, whoever throws me back into the sea will become my life until they leave me there; I will bear the flow of the tide. I love, I love and I love life! And I cry continuously.....(my naive little heart, cry, because we are only onto the second page of the book).
So I continue to cry...Now I’m crying for the little blond who I picked up yesterday in a fast food restaurant. (Blond, yes, yes and a male being because he has short hair). 1230, I already mentioned the place, I was just sitting, sitting in front of him while he consumed a hamburger in his own inimitable fashion, sometimes a little bit fell out to the left or right or the chips, smothered in ketchup, spilled out onto the floor, like blood. I just gazed and gazed, I didn’t buy/eat I just sat opposite him. In front of him was half a packet of cigs, I shivered as I watched him stuffing his face like an animal with his filthy hands. I was playing the administering angel. The administering angel who looks upon the ‘delinquent’ in a kindly manner, trying to influence him with positive energy so that he will get onto the ‘right path’., the 18 years old alcoholic, lost soul.
For some reason the angel was extremely ‘unselfish’ because she’d never had anything to do with this kind of boy, who she liked very much, before. It was unbelievable, as if it was meant to be. And the ‘saviour’ effect began to work within her: (The ‘saviour’ effect: when a woman sees that a man can’t get off the ‘cigs and alcohol’ and other drugs alone and that’s why she needs him!) They went home together, but there our little angel-faced alcoholic fell asleep too soon much to the distress of his ‘angel’. The next day the ‘angel’ true to form......stepped down.
So why isn’t Arto Teppo answering this phone? Hmmm....perhaps he’s noticed that there is 3 euros missing from the change he dropped on the floor. No, the money is nothing to him! It’s a pity but for some reason I had to get back to Helsinki from Vantaa. Perhaps he didn’t notice that either? No matter, I was ‘only’ an angel...
His life consisted of serious virtues ‘cigs, booze and taka-taka-taka’. Due to youthful innocence ‘speed’ had not featured, so far.....